Session 5

So at this point I'm guessing that there was a third human on me and Hofstedt's space ship. Probably some kind of spy for the mining corporation. Perhaps the spear was meant for one of us two instead of this Akiir guy?

Janiis seems pretty bummed out by this all and just sends everyone away. Her poor grandson must be peeved since he now, presumably, doesn't get to be an adult. Or, at the very least, his big day is ruined.

"I'm going to have to get Drirr onto this at once" she says

"Who's that then? The head of the police?"

"No, he's the minister for Human Affairs"

"Seriously? That was quick!! We've only been here a few weeks and we've not even met this Drirr - what does he know about humans?"

"Err - seriously? What're you on about?"

"Well, I'm just amazed that you have a minister for human affairs when there's only 2 of us (and potentially some more with an invincible robot army somewhere else on the planet)"

"Only 2 of you? Are you for real?"

"You mean there's more of us?"

"Err - blates! Humans have lived on Albion for forever!"

"WHAAAAAA????"

"Er - yeah. Hold on, no-one told you? About all the humans who live here?"

"What the eff?!?!?!?"

"Ok. Well you can talk more about this with Sebai-Giz Frill in a bit. But first there's some bad news for you."

"How bad?"

"I can't let you leave here"

"That's pretty bad"

"UNTIL..."

"ooh, getting better..."

"...you solve this murder!"

"Easy! That guy with the mask on did it!"

"Ha ha, not so simple as that. That masked human was a hired assassin. One of the clans on humans on this planet is the best assassin society ever. They never kill people for themselves because there's no need - people give them what they want because they're hardcore ninja killers. But people pay to have them kill other people for them all the time. You need to find out who did THIS murder..."

"but why me? I'm possibly the LEAST equipped person here to do this! I mean, I don't know the victim, I don't understand the local politics, I'm not trusted by the locals..."

"Ah, well, there's a convenient law about this sort of thing that means you have to do it. You see, when someone round here goes mental and does a killing, it's the murderer's family's responsibility to work out who the killer was..."

"hold on - the family of the killer have to solve the crime? How does that work? If you didn't know who the killer was, what family does the crime solving?"

"That's never come up somehow. And probably the police would solve the crime in those circumstances. Anyway, since a human did the killing and you're the closest thing to being in his family that we have round here, YOU have to solve the crime."

"Seriously? I mean, I'm a pilot and this guys an earth-government snoop"

"hello"

"It's not like we're a big family like one of the local sets with plenty of people to throw at the problem..."

"Shut up now. Here comes [a female Isaki police officer whose name I forgot to write down in my notes] to help you. Now get on with solving this crime or else you're not allowed to leave this continent and find out what happened to the planet eating space-ship you arrived on that is somehow a lower priority than this."

Ok, so this is quite exciting! A murder to solve! Up until this point I'd been happily just wondering at the beautifully presented alien culture - but now I've got something to be doing that brings a little bit of pace into the whole experience.

First things first, we go to see Sebai-Giz Frill.

Sebai-Giz means he's stolen a baby's body 20 times over! This, Tom calculates, means he's over 600 years old!

"Hello Sabai-Giz - we're on the hunt for a human killer!"

"Ah, well now, I can tell you everything I know about humans on Albion"

"Cool"

"So humans have been around here longer than I have (so AT LEAST 600 years) and there's three clans of them as far as we know. There's the humans who live at Beloveno, the humans at Umajo and the ones just near by who are the Knget Kamulos - which means 'people from Kamulos'"

"Well tell me about the Kamulos folk first please."

"Ok. Well they're humans who aparently live in the style of their forefathers and are killers for hire. They're the best killers on the planet, despite my species having claws and fangs to do killings with."

"Cool - so who would hire them to kill Akiir?"

"Well it'd have to be an Isaki, since Akiir had nothing to do with humans so I don't think any humans would have a motive to hire a killer to kill him."

"hmm... that's not very helpful... everyone round here's an Isaki..."

"Shall I tell you about the other clans?"

"Well ok..."

"It's not DIRECTLY relevant. But the Umajo are awesome miners who dig up precious metals and earn a packet as the only people trading in the stuff"

"How come they're the only people who trade in precious metals? Our scans of your planet suggest that it's totally PACKED with useful materials. EVERYONE should be digging the stuff up..."

"Ah well, only the Umajo can because they're the ones with the powerful magic that tames the goddess"

"eh what?"

"well you see, the goddess REALLY doesn't like people mining on this planet."

"Oh, so, it's like... Some kind of superstition?"

"ha ha ha, no. Seriously, the goddess bads up anyone who mines on this planet except the Umajo"

"For real?"

"yeah. I've seen it with my own eyes. People try and dig up the precious metals and BAM - earthquakes, cataclysms and the summoning of Horrible Beings. Honestly, anyone who doesn't know what they're doing DEFINITELY shouldn't do any mining on this planet or else they'll be killed up HARD by the goddess..."

"But that's what the crew of our whole space-ship was coming here to do! My Girlfriend's on that space ship!! ARG! What if they go here and were immediatly eaten by a Horrible Being???!!! WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS MURDER AND FIND THEM!!! NOW!!!!!"...